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  Milhouse Biography  
 

 

 
 

 

 

Milhouse was born to Kirk and LuAnn Van Houten. His parents' divorce in "A Milhouse Divided" saw his father try to launch a singing career based on the strength of his single "Can you spare a feeling?". Milhouse's mother has since contented herself by hopping right back on the dating horse - most notably with Pyro of American Gladiators and Rainer Wolfcastle. She also enjoyed a brief bit of professional success as a member of the Investorettes.

Milhouse attends Springfield elementry and spends his time in Mrs. Krabapple's 4th grade class. When he's not engaged in the pursuit of education, he's probably being bullied by Nelson Muntz or Jimbo Jones.

When Milhouse gets a moment to himself, he enjoys going to Spinal Tap concerts, reading Radioactive Man comic books, watching Itchy and Scratchy Cartoons on the Krusty The Klown show, eating vaseline on toast, and collecting ALF Pogs. Milhouse once had the chance to live out his comic book fantasies by starring as Fallout Boy in the live-action Radioactive Man movie.

A shrewd businessman, when it comes to deals, Milhouse is nobody's fool. He bought a leather jacket for 50,000 Bazooka Joe comics, and Bart's soul for $5.

Bart is Milhouse's best friend. Milhouse plays second fiddle to Bart's showy lifestyle, and often gets dragged along into sketchy situations, like an all-day Squishee bender, because of Bart's charismatic personality. The one time their relationship was tested was when Milhouse dated Samantha Stanky and kissed her in Bart's treehouse. Every since that painful breakup, Milhouse has more or less been fixated on Lisa and Bart's mom, much to the chagrin of Janey Powell.

Milhouse has a long way to go in his quest for love. The best example of his insufficient capacity to initiate and sustain a relationship was revealed in a dialogue with Lisa during the episode where she dates Nelson. Lisa confides in that she likes Nelson "Because I see that underneath that bully attitude, there's a shy, sensitive, caring Nelson." Unable to hold back his heartbreak, Milhouse cries out, "I'M shy, sensitive, and caring!" To which Lisa replies, "Yeah, well, I guess you could say that I like the Milhouse in Nelson."

Milhouse: "But I'm ALL Milhouse! And my mom says I'm the coolest guy in school!"

Lisa: "Oh, Milhouse, I could never think of you in that way. You're like my big sister."

Milhouse: "No, I'm NOT! Why does everybody keep SAYING that??"

Lisa then completes her uncaring decimation of Milhouse's heart by asking him to pass a note to Nelson in class for her. He thinks to himself, "If she sees that you'll do anything she tells you to, she'll HAVE to respect you!" He grabs the note and says, "Sure! What's a big sister for?"

Oh Milhouse. My heart bleeds.

 
 

 

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